Kiosk Movie Reviews

What are Kiosk Movie Reviews, you say?

You know, that automated DVD and Blu-ray dispenser that's located at your local supermarket, drugstore, etc.  Names like Redbox, DVDXpress, and more.

We know that if you're picking movies up at these things that it's very likely you don't want to waste much time.  Get in, shop, get your movie, and get out.  Well in keeping with the spirit, VideoCrib's going to spit out a whole list of short and sweet Kiosk Movie Reviews, especially for you, and bottom line, we'll tell you if you should waste time wrestling with the movie kiosk, i.e., whether or not you need to rent a particular movie.  Here goes, before we WASTE ANY MORE TIME:

'IN THE CRIB' - yes, rent it.  'OUT THE CRIB' - don't waste your time renting it.

BRIDGE OF SPIES - Cold War drama based on the true story of the American spy plane downed by Russian military.  Tense, even keeled thriller/biographical drama with good acting.

==>IN THE CRIB

THE H8FUL EIGHT - Post US Civil-War Wyoming.  Bounty hunters, hangmen, criminals, all snowbound at a stagecoach stopover.  Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino.  Enough said.

==>IN THE CRIB

THE FOREST - A woman travels to Japan to find her missing twin sister in the notorious Japanese Suicide Forest.  Poor screenplay.  Don't rent it unless it's very late and you're drunk.

<==OUT THE CRIB

THE REVENANT - In  1823 a frontiersman suffers brutal injuries from a bear attack, and is left for dead by a member of his team.  Not for the faint of heart (I still remember the bear attack scene), but an incredible story of survival and revenge.

==>IN THE CRIB

DEADPOOL - A rogue experiment leaves a former special forces operative with special powers and a twisted sense of humor.  Gratuitous violence, albeit well done, and the perfect antidote to all of the cookie-cutter superhero movies that we've been barraged with in recent years.

==>IN THE CRIB

TRIPLE 9 - Again another movie about gangsters and corrupt cops working together and blurring the lines of justice, and oh yeah, enter a new morally straight 'rookie' cop to come on the scene and save the day.  The plot and screenplay were as bumpy as the car chases.  Save your rental fee.

<==OUT THE CRIB

ZOOLANDER 2 - OK, we know this movie's dumb.  You do too.  But if you like movies filmed in Italy, and you go for the Saturday Night Live humor, example, Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, etc., you will get a few good laughs from this film, which satires the modeling industry (among other topics).  Otherwise you should pass on this one.

==>IN THE CRIB (conditional - read above)

FORSAKEN (2015) - Classic western set in 1872 Wyoming about a retired gunfighter and his estranged father, who must deal with a corrupt businessman and his gang of thugs.  Great father and son drama (Donald and Kiefer Sutherland), some brief parts of crisp action, and Michael Wincott's performance as the somewhat sympathetic thug is excellent.

==>IN THE CRIB

BATMAN V SUPERMAN DOJ - The showdown we've all been waiting for, right? Wrong. Fun? Not so much. These guys have plenty of baggage, and you're gonna see maybe a lot more than you wanted. Screenplay disjointed. Violence - oh yeah, but don't bring the small kids to see this one. A very good 'almost movie', filled with many 'what was that?' moments.

<==OUT THE CRIB

GHOSTBUSTERS (2016) - Let's get this out of the way. It's not as good as the original. However, it comes pretty darn close, thanks to director Paul Feig's new approach, and some of the funniest actors in the biz. Love the subtle attention to plot details.

==>IN THE CRIB

THE NICE GUYS - Easily one of the best movies of 2016, this movie produced several belly laughs, about 2 mismatched detectives in 1970's Los Angeles who team up to investigate a missing girl and the death of a porn star. Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe have blockbuster chemistry.

==>IN THE CRIB

KONG: SKULL ISLAND - OK people, the Kong thing, again? Seriously? Have CGI, will create. Shallow characters, and no Oscars for acting happening here, though John C. Reilly is enjoyable as a war vet. Some cheesy effects but the good fight scenes are good. Go if you are an action effects junkie, otherwise, PASS.

<==OUT THE CRIB

LA LA LAND - Yep, I waited a little bit to see this one. The corny musical number in the beginning almost confirmed my hesitancy. ALMOST. After that, what we have is a pretty amazing, breezy yet meaningful story of love versus pursuing your dreams, all done in a style that is retro, harking back to old Hollywood musicals, and yet is also modern and quite hip. Worth a look unless you really hate musicals.

==>IN THE CRIB
 
ALIEN COVENANT - After discovering what they believe to be an unknown paradise, the Covenant crew meet a survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition. This one amps up the creature violence and suspense and is a return to form for director Ridley Scott. A great Friday Night rental. No real memorable characters, though.

==>IN THE CRIB

APPROACHING THE UNKNOWN - A low-key, slightly offbeat sci-fi adventure about the first solo manned mission to Mars, which manages to make statements about not only the engineering and courage required to survive it, but also about our precious environment. Lead actor Mark Strong's commanding voice narration makes the film that much more interesting, and we are able to get inside his head.

==>IN THE CRIB